working against the odds

It is one of those days that I look around and it seems that things are working against everything I stand for.  I keep hearing from others that so much is going through their minds!   I feel for them because I know the feeling. 

We recently found out that my Daddy has what is described as inoperable lung cancer.  The Doctors plan to do treatments of aggressive chemo and radiation not to cure him but to extend his quality and quantity of life.   I pray that this is what the treatments actually do as he will be sick from the treatments alone.  But I know that God has a plan and I will walk alongside my Daddy in faith.  It is hard to hear such a diagnosis but God can heal him if he is to be healed!   If not, God has already offered him grace through Jesus Christ and he can be healed through his acceptance of that gift for all of eternity!  I do smile at the thought of my daddy with out pain... smiling and worshiping the Lord with me one day in heaven!  But for now.... I pray that we can worship and love the Lord right here on earth for much longer than the dr.s seem to think!   He begins radiation on Monday and Chemo a week from Friday in Richmond!   I pray God will work through the Doctors and strengthen my daddy's faith 10 fold!   

We also had a friend to pass away from earth and enter his heavenly home!  Another man who has had a lot of difficulty in his life and not always chosen the path that he should, but praise the Lord he accepted grace through Jesus and is enjoying his heavenly home now! Amen!  I could not ask for a friend to show his love for Jesus and his love for God's church more!

Then we received an email from SEBTS for my husband and discovered he is not as close to graduation as we thought.  The way his class planner is set up it looked like he could change his major and graduate earlier but that did not work as we thought so he has quite a few more hours to go before he reaches the required 90 credit hours for his M Div.  But we have faith that God will provide for the cost of the classes.  We will make it through the time it takes for him to finish well with his eye's on Jesus all the way!  This has been a tough road financially but I do believe we were meant to take it! 

Church attendance is down as it is summer and people have other things going on and that can lead any couple in ministry to look at the situation and ask God... Are you there?  Are we on the right track?   But then we recall so much scripture that He gave us; that we have taken the time to learn and we know He is there with us.  He has a plan and a timeline that my mind can not fathom and I have to trust in Him completely!  I have to live a life that honors Him and pleases Him alone!

It seems that life can just bring frustration and discouragement if we allow it sometimes but then we have to remember Jeremiah 29:11.  For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you....(paraphrased)  In those words I find comfort and I know that even though things seem dismal in so many areas... He has a plan to bring us through and if we focus on Him we will see the blessing in time. 

On a lighter note...  Kaylee leaves for camp tomorrow.  She is so excited to see her friends from Concord and to go and learn more about Jesus and about worship!   I am so thankful that she is allowed the opportunity to go!   I pray that she will always shine her light!  The light of Jesus Christ's forgiveness and grace in her life!

I am also at a crossroads in my life and waiting to see what God has in store for my future!   It seems I can find tons of positives and tons of negatives for every outcome but that is when I know I have to let go and let God!  He will bring us through!  He loves us!  

We did have a wonderful trip to the beach on July 4th for the day and it was a blessing of time with our children and a friend of Kaylee's. Of course it had a bad moment too and sunburn but over all it was a WONDERFUL and much needed day!

So the truth is... as I write this blog tonight I feel sad that I am not sharing uplifting words of wisdom... But I am human, I am real, and I am transparent to a point!   Tonight, I just need to journal about the realities that I am living and remember that I am not walking this path alone.   No matter what people in this world come along the path... I am in great company because I walk with Jesus!  He walks with me, and talks with me, and I could not ask for anything more!  

I sit tonight and remember the faith of my grandmother, the endurance of my other grandmother, the love of my aunts, the generosity of my mother, and the submission of them all, and I know that I need to be still and know that He is there!