what a day... Grace and forgiveness; Blessings and Honor

Well this has been such an interesting day filled with emotions of all kinds.  I woke up this morning still feeling a little less than par.  My lungs are still really sore and my head was pounding but I got a shower and made it into work.  I certainly can not stay out forever.  Aleve helped some too!  the headache anyway.    While at work I hear of the verdict for Casey Anthony.  It made me think of all of the emotions that the family has dealt with.  I do not know what to think about all that was presented but I do know that God is a God of justice and whatever really happened, I know the judgement will come.  I do pray for Casey though and for her family.  Whether or not she is guilty which she was determined not guilty in court I pray that she will see the lifestyle that she is living and realize why people see her in the spotlight that she has created.  I pray that if by some chance she truly did not do it then she will grow to desire a relationship with God and ask for forgiveness for her choices.  If she did, then I pray the same prayer.

I will say that this trial really caused me to turn from the light shining on her and to shine it on myself.  I ask myself if I am placing my children where they belong in my life.  Am I placing my Husband where he belongs.  Most of all am I placing God where He belongs.

I am reminded that God should be my first love and He is who I should honor in every choice that I make.  When I choose where to go, what to do, what to say I should ask myself if that choice is God honoring.  I should pray and ask God if that choice is God honoring.   I am not always perfect and make many wrong decisions but I own those decisions and admit when they are wrong.  I do not cover them and try to change God's expectations to meet my own.

I am then reminded that the second place in my life should be my Husband,  I should honor him and the vow that I have made to be his wife.  I should desire to see his life improved because of the actions that I purposefully offer.  We are studying the book A Woman After God's own Heart and it reminds me how important this is.  It reminds me that God has created me to live in this role and to love my husband completely.  That truly takes work sometimes.  Not because he is not lovable but because we live lives that are busy and hectic and it is easier to focus on my own needs.  However... I have truly learned in my life that if I make sure that my husbands needs are met then mine are much more easily met!  As Elizabeth George says... I should get up each morning and ask him what I can do to make his day better or more productive!  I should do this not because I idolize my husband but because I honor God in all that I do and He calls for me to be this type of wife.  I often fail, I often speak negatively or forget to let my husband know I love him but I thank God for Grace and I thank my husband for knowing my heart. 

Next I think of the role that comes third and that is the role of being a mother.  This role can easily slip its way forward especially with 3 kids one being 16 months old.  But Once again.  Things fall into place when I honor God in my decisions.  I love spending time with my children and making sure that each of them know how important they are to me.  That I focus on each of them individually and as a group.  It is also important that I offer proper discipline.  I am by no means a perfect mother and I am not always the wife I should be but I strive to be the best that I can the rest I leave to Grace. 

God knows my heart and he knows when I am not perfect... but He also knows that He made me and that my heart is filled with desire to honor Him.  When I slip or fail I ask Him for forgiveness.

Later I read a blog that was written by a dear friend of mine who is leading ministry for young girls now and she said that her request is that we thank someone who has truly changed or touched our lives this week.  I could never name everyone that has touched or changed my life but I will say that if you are taking the time to read this you are one of those people and I thank you for caring enough about me to take the time to read about my little life and what God places on my heart to share.   

I came home from work today and found such blessings, of course the daily blessing of all that my mom is doing to help me with my children and daily chores but also the blessing that my neighbor had cleaned up my yard from all of the storm mess.  We had limbs and pine cones everywhere and he cleaned it up while we were at work!  Just to be nice! That is God Honoring alright.  He ministered to us in an amazing way... while walking tonight my little Logan said ... Mommy we should help someone clean up their yard too when they have a storm.  How true is this... From the mouths of babes... we should not look down on our neighbors but lift them up in whatever way we can!!!!  I pray that God will lead me in helping someone that is capable of helping themselves just so that they will feel the blessing that I feel through my mom and my neighbor's help.

This day filled with emotion also left me seeing that a dear friends grandfather passed away today 1 month after her father did.  A reminder of our life 16 months ago when we went through the same emotional roller coaster.    I am so thankful that she has our Lord to cling to and to know that He will cling to her through her pain.  It just reminds me that life is short.  Tonight I went and got Daniel back from the crib when he cried to rock-a-minute as Kaylee used to say. I took a leisurely walk with my children and worked to strengthen my lungs as they still hurt a bit when I breath, I helped my husband work on his agenda for his meeting tonight and made sure that he had supper before he went even if I did not cook it this time.  But most of all when I rested there with Daniel and heard Logan tell me while filled with excitement that his tooth came out I thanked God for my 3 children!  I thank God for my husband, my parents, my friends, my life.  I thank God for the precious gift of grace and for forgiving me of my sins.  I thank God for loving me with Agape love... a type of unconditional love that is the only type that the grace that I need can abound!  I simply thank God and ask Him to forgive me for not remembering these precious things all of the time that I should!